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I am on the toilet seat as I keep wondering  Tryna understand your purpose, all I see is pain Hello Menstruation, I ain’t even gonna call you dear Why the fuck do you have to hurt me like that  See this ain’t even funny  The way you drag me it’s like I owe you some money  I didn’t do shit, Eve fucking ate the apple  I just want to a normal girl like my bestie Estie  but all you do is make sure I always end up messy It’s like you’re punishing me for being a woman  It’s unfair I ain’t even gonna lie
Take the cramps, take the diarrhea, take pukes, And give me balls instead  Take the cramps, take the diarrhea, take the pukes  And give it to boys instead  See all the boys that ever treated me unfair as lady I think it’s time you teach those fuckers some lessons  Take the cramps, take the diarrhea, take the pukes  And give them to all my exes  Don’t forget to let them know I don’t miss their boring texts Give me my happy days back and take the evil with you

Hello menstruation, see I’m actually trying to disresp…
Recent posts

How To Cook The Nigerian Egusi Soup

Anyone could teach you how to cook Egusi soup but can they teach you how to cook Egusi the Velvety way?
But I’ll teach you! Cos I’m the Velvety chef. Welcome to my blog. New and old visitors, I greet you all. I wouldn’t like to bore you with a long introduction so, my friends let’s learn how to cook the Nigerian  Egusi soup like a pro.
I can cook Egusi in the stir fry method and still slay it but the method we will be learning today is the boiling method.
Boiled Egusi ???
Yea! I’ll advice that you use beef for your Egusi. Beef or goat meat adds a unique taste to the soup . So,
* Boil the meat first and set aside.
*Cleanse your okporoko (stock fish)in water.
*Throughly cleanse your kpomo (cow Hyde) with a knife or sponge in water and salt. *Place these two ingredients in a pot and boil with seasoning.
*When the okoproko becomes tender, mix your blended Egusi with water to form a paste.
*When grinding your Egusi, don’t forget to add a little crayfish. Note that adding too much crayfish in the Egusi …

Fidelis Paul: Guilt

So, I am sitting in my room and I’m staring at the ceiling. It’s been five solid days since there hasn’t been light. I love my privacy so I refrain from going to my neighbors room when they put on their generators. Despite the disturbance I get from the rattling noises their generators make, I endure. I love my neighbor just as my self ; just  because I hope to make it to heaven . It will be unfair to have suffered on earth and also deny myself the joys of heaven. Suddenly,I hear the flickering sound of my bulb, they restore the light! Ah! Ope oh! Up Nepa! The bulb buzzed for a while and burns out. Even if it means that I’ll have to sleep in darkness again this night, at least, I’ll get to charge my phone. 
My cable subscription has expired. Therefore I am restricted to watching NTA and one other boring station. I choose NTA. It was their usual monotonous shows that was airing. I watch on. At least, I get to learn a new word from the presenter. “Burgeon”. I’ll check that out immediatel…

The Day I Almost Died Because Of Food

I get a lot of Dieko, Dieko, you like food. Lol. I want to tell you story. It’s about the day I almost died because of food. I can’t say I remember vividly because it was my mom that narrated the story to me. 

I was one year old. I could walk but sometimes I still crawled. My mum had gone to pay a visit to my maternal grandmother. My grandmother lived in a rented apartment and shared compound with lots of other families who lived in the house. It happened in the afternoon when my mom was taking a nap. I crawled outside to the compound. Because it was in the afternoon, most people had gone out to work so there was nobody in the compound. The house had recently disposed their faeces so the “Shalanga” had been broken and was yet to be remolded. 

In the yard, there was a woman who usually roasts groundnuts for sale. Earlier that day, she had roasted some groundnuts. Unfortunately for me, some of them fell on the “Shalanga”. Immediately I saw the groundnuts, I crawled to pick some of it to e…

Poetry: Grenade

I could catch a grenade for you but, as I shred into pieces
With each parts shattered into trillions
I'll dance on the boulevards of regret
With a dress I borrowed from dismay
And tell sorrow to tell anguish that
I'll reminisce or rather, miss all the forever lost
stolen kisses
I'll dedicate my bones and tissues to your memory
For this is my salvation, for my salvation is this

Ride Or Die Episode 3

“A gun! Ah! Please don’t kill me. I will refund your money please...” She begged while already dripping with sweats all over her body despite the air conditioned room. “Ssssh. Keep quiet! “Sam said, evolving into a firmer character than the lost stranger she had met earlier in the day. “So, I’m sure you know that your brother belongs to a cult ?” “Yes,I do.” “What Frat?” “Alora” “Alora?” “Good. I was paid to drop him today. “Please, don’t kill my only brother. I beg you. Kill me instead.” She pleaded amidst her tears. “I won’t ... kill him . Anymore. Because of you.” 
"Because of me? How?"
“You helped me . But you have to call your brother and tell him to leave the school premises for at least a week.” “Thank you. I’ll do that. God bless you.” “You have to be on your way now. It’s getting dark.” With that, Sam sprung to his feet, packed his bag, and was about to leave the room with his accomplice. “Please can I have your number? Nancy asked. Yes. Sure.


Ride Or Die Episode 2

The stranger felt fulfilled as he walked beside her. The day had gone perfectly just as planned. Although, he was running out of time to perform ‘the task’ but he considered the time invested absolutely needful. He seemed to like this strange girl he had just met. She was so jovial and almost everyone greeted her as they walked.
 “You seem to be quite popular here.” He said ,jolting out of his reverie.
 “Why do you say so?”
 “Well because more than a million people have greeted you since we began our tour.”
“I’m just a normal girl here.” She replied. Taking a quick glance at the second guy who had barely said a word since the journey begun. In fact, he seemed not to be interested in any discussion at all. All he did was carry a black bag pack and a poker face.

A young guy approached them and Nancy ran to meet him. Almost immediately the mute guy started to unload his backpack but was quickly stopped by the stranger. After a while, she came back to meet the guys. “Who is that guy to you?” a…